Motherhood is beautiful, but it’s a journey, to say the least. From the first time that I had found out about my pregnancy with my oldest child, I began making preparations for her arrival. I’ll never forget, I had owned a Chevy Monte Carlo when I found out that I was expecting. Immediately I sold it because I wanted to get something more convenient and “kid friendly.” Already making sacrifices in preparation to become a mommy, I purchased a used Jeep that I just knew was the perfect suv for my new baby and I. Sadly, with only 3 months of having it, the engine had blown. I was so upset because I had spent all the money that I had on that vehicle. But of course I couldn’t be without a car with having a baby on the way, so I worked hard, saved up and bought another car, And the same thing happened! I was heated lol. Upsetttt! And this was only the beginning of the sacrifices that we make as parents, and the unexpected hardships that we sometimes have to face. I learned early on that we have to prepare for the unexpected in life, especially when we have children who depend on us for their well being. And sometimes that’s not always an easy thing to do. I became a mother at the age of twenty years old. And although I was excited and ready to be a mom, looking back, I realize that I wasn’t prepared! I wasn’t prepared for the late nights, the early mornings, the emergency doctors visits, the unexpected expenses, and sometimes even the expected expenses. It was all new for me. And although some situations were easier than others, I made it happen! And that’s exactly what motherhood is all about; making things happen and making sure that the needs of your children are met no matter what! My whole life I’ve been around mothers that made things happen, from my mother and aunts, to my sisters, cousins and friends. And although God has blessed me with a husband to help me, majority of the women I know don’t have that. Many are doing it all on their own! True definition of SUPER WOMEN because even having that extra helping hand, it’s HARD being a mother, and most of us don’t get days off! We’re always in mommy mode! And if you’re anything like me, even when you do get that break, you spend majority of it thinking about the needs of your children. Sometimes, I’ll plan a shopping date for myself and the entire time I’m picking up things for my kids, talking myself out of buying even small things like a cheap shirt for myself. Even as our kids become older, the worrying doesn’t stop, in fact it may even get worse. Having to allow them to make their own decisions, even when it completely goes against what you want for them. Their first heartbreak, hormonal changes, just to name a few. Having to face the harsh reality that sometimes your kids will go against all that you’ve taught them and it hurts! But the good thing about it is that the Bible teaches us to “train a child up in the way he should go, and when they get older they won’t depart from it.” In other words, no matter how many mistakes they make, as long as you’ve raised them correctly and instilled moral and spiritual values into them, they’ll always come back to being the person that you’ve raised them to be. It’s up to us as parents to keep our children lifted in prayer throughout their lives, and also make sure that WE are setting positive examples for them as well, because prayer without works don’t always work. We have to make sure that we’re being the best version of ourselves in our parenting so that our children can actually look up to us. We can’t be hypocritical in our parenting, because like most people, children learn better with what they see, versus what they’re told. It’s not enough to tell our kids to “do as I say, and not as I do,” like many of our parents told us growing up. We have to be INTENTIONAL in what we show and tell them! Everything that they do reflects what they have been shown. Just as we filter things that they watch on television, we have to filter things that WE do in real life! We have to filter our conversations, the music we pump into their ears, we have to be mindful of the relationships what we allow ourselves to be in, both romantic relationships and overall friendships with certain individuals. We have to SHOW them the best way of living and decision making so that they see first hand what’s right and what’s wrong. The Bible teaches us to “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them–not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve” (1 Peter 5:2). This means to love them, lead them, and protect them correctly. It’s our duty as mothers to instill core values in our children giving them the best shot at life as possible.

At the same time, it’s also important for us as parents to give ourselves GRACE! Many of us didn’t have the best upbringings ourselves, so trying to raise children with unhealed wounds from childhood can be a challenge within itself. But healing is necessary and vital or generational curses will continue to pass down to your children…and then to theirs. And the cycle will continue until someone steps up to BREAK it! And who’s more perfect to break it than YOU? We have to take our healing seriously and sometimes prayer alone just isn’t enough. We have to be honest with ourselves and know when to seek wise counsel in order to heal, grow, and better ourselves so that we can be the best person for ourselves and the best mother to our children. My prayer for every mother reading this is that you do a self reflection and identify any toxic areas in yourself that needs healing, and work on those things. I pray that you identify things and habits that needs to be corrected in the way that you parent your children, so that they don’t suffer emotionally because of them. And I also pray that although motherhood has no manual, that you allow God to truly lead you and your children. Every day is a journey, some days will be better than others, mothers aren’t perfect nor are we always right. And children aren’t always wrong, they too have a voice that needs to be valued and heard. Be intentional when raising your children, give them grace when they make mistakes, but be firm in your teaching and expectations. And most importantly, ENJOY them! Sometimes we forget to enjoy our children because we’re so busy trying to provide and raise them, then before we can look up, they’re grown! Don’t forget to enjoy them while they’re young because those are some of the most beautiful moments of motherhood and many of those moments can never be relived again. Don’t let them pass you by…