Growing up, I always wanted to be “daddy’s little girl.” I always wanted that perfect father-daughter relationship like I had seen on television, because growing up in the hood you didn’t really see it much in person. As a child, I knew who my father was, I had access to him, and I actually had a pretty good relationship with him. But as I got older, I began to see some of the painful truths about my father that I didn’t quite understand before. I knew my mother disliked him, in fact, still today she cant stand him, but never did she allow her ill feelings towards him come in between the relationship that he and I had shared. Every other weekend she’d allow my sister and I to get dressed and wait for him to pick us up, knowing that there was a chance that he wouldn’t come, but still giving him the benefit of the doubt for the sake of us. I remember waiting at the door for him to come, coat on, shoes on, staring out the window until he pulled up. But sometimes, the phone would ring instead of the doorbell. It was him telling us that something had came up. But the times that he did show up, he always made sure that we had the times of our lives. I have some amazing memories of my daddy and I. I remember them all so vividly because honestly, they were rare. I’ll never forget when my dad picked us up in his delivery truck. There were mattresses in the back and as he drove, my sister and I had our own jumping party in the back! I’ll never forget when I called my daddy, sad because my sister had went to the carnival with her friends and I was too young to go. My daddy came and picked me up, took me to the State Fair, and won me whatever toy that I wanted! I felt like I was on top of the world! He also taught me how to shoot a shotgun and the importance of saving money. Til this day he’d always tell me to put ten dollars from each check into savings, that way i’d have something stashed for a rainy day. One of the wisest men I know! I’ll also never forget when my mom had gotten a call that my daddy had been in a terrible accident at work. He had been hit by a truck and suffered some severe damage to his head, BUT GOD! Thankfully he recovered after surgery and blood transfusions. I remember feeling so hopeless and heartbroken. I thought I was going to lose my daddy. But by the grace of God, he had a full recovery! Another memory that will forever stick with me is when I had found out that my daddy had an illness. It tore me apart, because at 11 years old, I didn’t understand. It wasn’t until I became older that I began to understand what was going on. My daddy had been battling a serious drug addiction, something that he had been struggling with even before I was born. A part of me wanted to allow myself to be angry at my father. I mean after all, was I not more important than drugs? Was I not worthy enough to have a father in my life? It’s not like I had asked to be here, at least he could have prepared for my arrival! Those thoughts followed me for many years. I started to carry resentment towards my daddy because I felt as if I was shortchanged from experiencing the life of the “average kid.” But then it dawned on me! How could he be a good father to me when he was battling his own demons? How could I expect him to be the best version of himself for me, when he wasn’t being the best version of himself for his own sake? It took me a long time to realize that although I’m absolutely entitled to my feelings and emotions, that it wasn’t a personal attack against me. But a SPIRITUAL attack against HIM! I had to learn that aside from him being a father, that he was also HUMAN! And as humans, we aren’t perfect! We make mistakes, we fall short, and we don’t always “measure up” to the expectations that others expect us to! Yeah he’s my father, I get it, but the truth is, that’s just a title! We get so consumed with “titles,” that sometimes we allow our egos to interfere with reality. Reality is, no matter what your title is in life, if you take that title away, you’re STILL a person! And you still make mistakes, just like the next person does! Whether you’re a pastor, a police officer, or a father, you’ll STILL fall short! I had to learn to meet my daddy right where he is! I had to put that “daddy’s little girl” theory to the side and accept the fact that although my idea of what a father-daughter relationship didn’t turn out the way that I had envisioned it, that it doesn’t mean that we cant have a relationship. I had to understand that just as hard as it is for me to not have that “perfect daddy” that I thought I needed in order to be loved “correctly,” protected, and to be told that I was beautiful; that it is also hard for my father to even look me in my eyes because he feels as if he’d failed at being a father…I come from a product of a father who was an addict, and was raised by a step-father that engaged in infidelity. Those situations could’ve broken me as a young girl, but instead I chose to learn from them and love my fathers IN SPITE OF their imperfections! I didn’t allow their negatives to negatively affect me in regards to the man I chose to marry. I didn’t allow myself to be insecure because my father didn’t tell me that I was beautiful every day! And I don’t allow myself to live in fear because my father wasn’t there to “protect” me. God has kept me covered in the BLOOD of Jesus, and HE is my protector! I didn’t NEED my daddy to instill those things into me, I needed Jesus to do that! And my daddy didn’t fail me because he wasn’t always present, he failed me those times when he allowed himself to push me away because of his own insecurities and self pity. We have to learn to move forward and stop allowing ourselves to dwell in past hurts and mistakes! We have to stop placing expectations on people just because they hold a certain “title.” And no matter what, we have to allow God to soften our hearts so that we can actually learn to LOVE people through their imperfections. This isn’t to justify or ignore the facts or the way someone’s rejection may have made you feel. It’s to give you FREEDOM and PEACE to move forward and not allow your feelings to consume you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The bible teaches us to “honor our parents so that we will live a full life in the land of the Lord (Deuteronomy 5:16). This means that it is a command by God to be respectful, loving, and accepting of our parents. Again, this doesn’t make them perfect, but it makes you OBEDIENT! Obviously discernment is to be used, but no matter what, we must love….even if in some cases it’s from a distance. Although I didn’t have the most “perfect” father, I thank God for him because without him, there would be no me! So no matter what, i’ll always appreciate my father! Today, I encourage you to do the same! It may take time, but find it in your heart to forgive your father for any hurt you may be feeling because of him. My prayer for every person that may be dealing with “daddy issues” is for them to find it in their heart to let go of the past and make use of the future! It’s never too late to form relationships with someone as long as they’re still here in the flesh. It’s only too late when we allow time to pass us by and we miss the opportunity to make amends with those we love! I pray that peace is restored and that families will no longer be a thing of the past, but that fathers will become more intentional with being present in their children’s lives. Also, for the women to be more intentional with who we choose to start a family with. Most people who are dealing with “daddy issues” are those who come from a broken home in which the father was absent. We must establish healthy, solidified relationships when dating, not just “situationships,” that way, children will be raised under one roof as a family, and we can break this cycle of single parent households and “daddy issues.”