At an early age, I was taught the importance of taking care of a man. I witnessed my mother, and many other women around me cater to the needs of their husbands, boyfriends, or just men in general. They cooked dinner and served the men first, they poured their drinks if they were thirsty, they made sure the house was cleaned before he came home, and they made sure that they looked “presentable,” for him at all times, even if they had a rough day themselves. Women from all different cultures have been taught to treat men in an honorable way; and even if he doesn’t act honorable, we’re still to treat them with the upmost respect at all times. Even the bible teaches us that the man is ahead of the woman. And although I absolutely LOVE serving my husband, sometimes I wonder why there isn’t much emphasis put on how a man should treat the woman. I wonder why the importance for caring for the woman isn’t emphasized as much as it is for caring for men. I KNOW I can’t be the only one…I don’t know about you, but sometimes it frustrates me. Being married myself, I know that sometimes we both can get caught up in every day tasks, caring for our children, working, etc and some things can get neglected. But for myself, I’m normally the one that puts myself on the back burner while caring for everyone else. And although I have a great husband, sometimes I become frustrated with him because I expect him to replenish those areas of my life that have been neglected. It’s just refreshing to know and FEEL as though I am appreciated. And although he does do things to serve me, the consistency can be more on point. Most men believe that because they go to work, maybe even come out of their pockets more for bills, and possibly work a more strenuous job than we do, that that’s ALLL they are responsible for. They don’t take into consideration all that we do as homemakers, mothers, wives, etc., ON TOP OF working a 9-5 schedule ( for most of us), that we need some extra TLC too! We’ve been programmed to not be tired, to not complain, to not be so “nagging” to our men. When we complain we’re automatically categorized as a “nagger,” or  “annoying.” When we say that we’re tired, we’re considered “lazy.” When we have certain requirements of men, we’re considered to be too “uptight.” When we don’t set any expectations, we’re treated as a “pushover.” So because we avoid complaining, they assume that we’re “okay.” They assume that we don’t need anything. But in reality, we just don’t want to be categorized as things that we aren’t….I’ve come to the conclusion that being a woman is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It’s the most underpaid and overworked position ever! Especially as a Black woman. Yet still, we carry the load with grace, even when it gets heavy. The reality of it all is that everyone wants to feel loved and cared for while in a relationship. But if only one person is being nurtured, eventually, the other one will become depleted. Every relationship is a partnership, and as partners you should both be on the same page when it comes to taking care of each other. It’s important to be considerate of each others well being, both emotionally and physically. It’s important to take the time to discern the areas of your spouse’s life that may need a little extra care. And that should always be on both ends. Sometimes, as women we automatically assume that a man KNOWS exactly what we want and need. I mean, you’d think he paid attention, right? WRONG! Most men don’t! Women are mental, we pay attention to patterns and actually use common sense when it comes to serving our men. Men are more verbal. Meaning if you don’t directly tell them what you need and want, they’ll assume that you don’t need anything else. They don’t pay attention to the hints that we like to throw into the atmosphere, even if we wrote it out on our foreheads. Sometimes, as women we mistake their simple lack of paying attention for them just “not caring,” but that’s not always the case. As women, we must do better at expressing ourselves verbally and be direct when it comes to the things that we want. It’s only fair that we give our spouse a chance to make peace with the things that we feel have been bothering us. This allows us to properly determine whether or not the areas that we feel were neglected by our mate was intentional, or just a pure misunderstanding. As frustrating as it can be, sometimes we have to give grace to our spouse when they fall short. Sometimes, we can get so consumed with life and comfortable in our relationships, that we forget to do those small things that means so much to the other person. Communication is MAJOR key in every relationship. There are no definite gender roles in how to care for one another while seeking a healthy relationship. The goal is to nurture each other, to be considerate of each other, and to water each other spiritually and mentally, so that you BOTH can GROW!